David’s family problems
13
📚And this is what happened after that: David’s 📖 son Absalom had a beautiful sister, whose name was Tamar; and David’s son Amnon loved her.2 📚And Amnon was so distressed that he felt sick for his sister Tamar, for she was a virgin, and Amnon thought it hard for him to do anything to her.
3 📚But Amnon had a friend whose name was Jonadab, the son of David’s brother Shimeah. And Jonadab was a very shrewd man. 4 📚And he said to him, “Why are you, a son of the king, so haggard from day to day? Will you not tell me?”
And Amnon said to him, “I love Tamar, my brother Absalom’s sister”.
5 📚And Jonadab said 📖 to him, “Lie down on your bed and pretend to be sick, and when your father comes to see you, say to him, ‘Please let my sister Tamar come and give me food, and prepare the food in my sight, so that I may see it and eat it from her hand.’ ”
6 📚So Amnon lay down and pretended to be sick, and when the king came to see him, Amnon said to the king, “Please let my sister Tamar come and make me a couple of cakes in my sight, so that I may eat from her hand”.
7 Then David sent home to Tamar, saying, “Go now to your brother Amnon’s house and prepare him food”.
13:7 David, completely unsuspecting, becomes an instrument in his son’s hand to accomplish his evil purpose.⚜
8 So Tamar went to her brother Amnon’s house; and he was lying down. And she took flour and kneaded it and made cakes in his sight, and baked the cakes. 9 📚And she took a pan and served them to him, but he refused to eat.
And Amnon said, “Have everyone go out from me”. And every one of them went out from him. 10 And Amnon said to Tamar, “Bring the food into the room, so that I may eat from your hand”. And Tamar took the cakes which she had made, and brought them into the room to Amnon her brother. 11 📚And when she had brought them to him to eat, he took hold of her and said to her, “Come lie with me, my sister”.
12 📚And she answered him 📖, “No, my brother, do not force me; for no such thing should be done in Israel. Do not do this disgraceful thing. 13 📚And I, where would I get rid of my shame? And as for you, you would be like one of the fools in Israel. Now therefore, please speak to the king, for he will not withhold me from you”. 14 📚However he would not listen to her voice, and, being stronger than she, forced her and lay with her.
13:14 His “love” was only lust which turned to disgust when satisfied.⚜
15 📚Then Amnon hated her exceedingly, so that the hatred with which he hated her was greater than the love with which he had loved her. And Amnon said to her, “Get up! Be gone!”
16 And she said to him, “No! because this evil in sending me away is greater than the other that you did to me”. But he would not listen to her.
13:16 Amnon is a type of the utterly selfish person who does not care what wrong he does to someone he says he loves.⚜
17 Then he called his servant who attended on him and said, “Now put this woman out from me, and bolt the door after her”.
18 📚And she had on a multi-coloured robe; for the king’s daughters who were virgins wore such robes. Then his servant took her out and bolted the door after her. 19 📚And Tamar put ashes on her head, and tore 📖 her multi-coloured robe that she was wearing, and put her hand on her head, and walked away, crying as she went.
20 📚And her brother Absalom said to her, “Has your brother Amnon been with you? But now keep quiet, my sister. He is your brother. Do not take this thing to heart”. So Tamar remained desolate in her brother Absalom’s house.
21 📚But when King David heard of all these things, he was very angry.
13:21 David was angry but evidently did nothing to punish Amnon. According to the law of God, Amnon’s sin was worthy of banishment (Lev 20:17). It is possible that David’s remembrance of his own sexual sin made him too lenient to Amnon. He well knew the bad example he had set. Or it may be that David had always been reluctant to discipline his children – see 1 Kings 1:6. If so, this could account for the sad way some of them turned out. See Prov 13:24; 22:15; 23:13-14. David’s inaction at this time may well have been the cause of the death of both Amnon and Absalom later on.⚜
22 📚And Absalom did not speak to his brother Amnon anything, good or bad, for Absalom hated 📖 Amnon, because he had forced his sister Tamar.
Absalom kills Amnon and runs away
23 📚And it came about two full years later that Absalom had sheep shearers in Baal-Hazor, which is near Ephraim, and Absalom invited all the king’s sons. 24 📚And Absalom came to the king and said, “Look, now your servant has sheep shearers. Please, will the king and his servants go with your servant?”
25 📚And the king said to Absalom, “No, my son, let us not all go now, or we will be a burden to you”. And he pressed him. However he would not go, but blessed him.
26 📚Then Absalom said, “If not, please let my brother Amnon go with us”. And the king said to him, “Why should he go with you?” 27 📚But Absalom pressed him, so that he let Amnon and all the king’s sons go with him.
28 📚Now Absalom had commanded his servants, saying, “You observe now when Amnon’s heart is merry with wine, and when I say to you, ‘Strike Amnon’, then kill him. Do not be afraid. Have I not commanded you? Be courageous and be valiant”.
13:28 Absalom had no right to take personal vengeance. Note at Ex 21:23-25; Lev 19:18; Num 31:2. If others sin against us, that does not give us the right to sin against them.⚜
29 📚And the servants of Absalom did to Amnon as Absalom had commanded. Then all the king’s sons arose, and each man got himself onto his mule and fled.
30 And it came about, while they were on the way, that news came to David, saying, “Absalom has killed all the king’s sons, and not one of them is left”. 31 📚Then the king arose and tore his clothes and lay on the ground, and all his servants stood by with their clothes torn.
32 📚And Jonadab, the son of David’s brother Shimeah, answered and said, “Let not my lord suppose that they have killed all the young men, the king’s sons; for only Amnon is dead. For this has been determined in Absalom’s mind from the day that he forced his sister Tamar. 33 📚Now therefore my lord the king should not take the thing to his heart, to think that all the king’s sons are dead, for only Amnon is dead”.
34 📚And Absalom fled. And the young man who was on watch raised his eyes and looked, and saw many people coming by the way of the hillside behind him.
13:34 The last sentence of this verse is found in the Septuagint, but not in the Hebrew manuscripts now available.⚜
35 And Jonadab said to the king, “Look, the king’s sons are coming. It’s just like your servant said 📖”.
36 📚And it came about, as soon as he finished speaking, that there were the king’s sons coming and raising their voices and weeping. And the king also and all his servants wept very bitterly.
37 📚But Absalom fled and went to Talmai 📖, the son of Ammihud, king of Geshur. And David mourned 📖 for his son every day.
38 📚So Absalom fled and went to Geshur, and was there three years. 39 📚And King David longed to go to Absalom, for he was comforted concerning Amnon, since he was dead.
13:39 Once again David does nothing to make the wrong situation right. He longed to go to Absalom, but he did not. Nor did he ask Absalom to return. Memory of one’s own sins sometimes tends to paralyze proper action.⚜